Friday, August 27, 2010

vandalisms on pathetic chairs..

i dunno what got into me.. but i wrote this blog's url on an armrest of a chair..
then i added phrases like

"Asylum for Wayward Victorian Girls"
"spread the plague"
"paki basa ito" - in Filipino baybayin

i'm not fond of sharing my personal blog to people who knows me..
i just don't feel like sharing this space with them.. but maybe..
i still want some random person to talk to..
just a short good chat will do..

i don't really like emotional conversations..
and all that crap.. i just couldn't stand it..

now, i'm in another dilemma of my life..
i hate this "relationship problem thing"..
it's driving me crazy..
i hope.. i regain myself again..
even if it means losing my significant other?
i just dunno..

i just need to talk to myself..
that's it..
so long.. goodnight?

p.s.
is cool.. too bad i don't own any gaming platform..

Saturday, August 14, 2010

ratedOVER..

lately.. my life had been fucked up..
and everything was out of control..
now, my relationship with my significant other..
has been working out.. pretty well..
and i thank the omni-being for that :D

but sadly.. i lost another friend..
yet again.. things start to complicate again..
and it's hard.. indeed..

LIFE=PERPLEXITY

i know.. it might seem over..
but we can't live away from
the perplexities of this effin
stuff.. we call LIFE..

 i just dunno what the hell
was going on..

but i hope..
i'll get hold of
what goes around..

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

iTHOUGHTwhenIT'Sdone-IT'SdoneANDnoMOREturningBACK..

I've just enrolled on SBYA 101 (Stop Bullshitting Yourself Al) classes through self study - and it was FUN. LOL. I've just learned the following lessons:


Pain is not of love - If it's just a relationship of hatred and terror, one must put an end to it - not unless you're in some S&M practice. LOL. I've just realized, I'm not a sadomasochist after all.
Not all remembering is useful - People should chose what to remember and what to forget. If your fork is already like a rake, would you still use it? Maybe not for eating but for combing your hair instead.
Regain self respect - Once you've lost your self respect, you can always try to find it again - not in other people but just from within you. 


Then lastly, if you want your bitch to be out of your sight - a snap of your fingers will do. Just like "poof!" she will magically disappear in your life. 

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

iNEEDanADHESIVEforAbrokenHEART

SPOILER: DON'T READ, THIS CONTAIN THOUGHTS THAT MIGHT TRIGGER YOUR ANNOYANCE. STOP! BULLSHIT AHEAD


"shitREALLYhappens
itOCCURSforAreason
reasonIdunno"


Pathetic.

But this is what haiku is.. I mean, just The haiku of my life..

I've been so disturbed that I even forgot myself -due to my biatch boyfriend constantly bugging me. I thought declaring a "break up" would put an end to everything. But DAMN! I can't leave him. I know my words had been harsh enough like spears piercing through his flesh and fire burning in his ears. He said he's getting tired of me and I was thinking why the hell he wouldn't just leave me? I'm sick of myself giving unto things he wanted. I'm sick of myself not being me by just the sake of having the "me" he wants. I'm sick of him talking so much that I couldn't even say a word. I'm sick of pretending to be stone. I'm sick of pretending to be the wall of his hateration. I'm sick of my life. I'm sick of being the temporary person on the world. FUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!

Now, what did i get?
Not just an asshole boyfriend.
I've also got a notebook.
It has blank pages.
I need to write.
I have no pen.
But there's a knife.
Yes, a knife.
My knife is sharp.
Sharp enough for my wrists.
And for his heart.
Where's his heart?
I dunno.
But I know one thing.
I know I have a brain.
Just like a sponge.
And now the sponge is dry.
It rained.
Then my brain got wet.
It's night.
I can't see the sun.
Or my eyes are just gone?




Saturday, March 27, 2010

sweetPOTATOESforAwearyHEART


SPOILER: DON'T READ, THIS CONTAIN THOUGHTS THAT MIGHT TRIGGER YOUR ANNOYANCE. STOP! BULLSHIT AHEAD


doubt. what is it?
is it the feeling that bugs you?
the feeling when you're starting to suspect someone of something?
the feeling when you're starting to lose trust for someone?
i dunno. doubt is bullshit.
it's like you're a stinking piece of crap and nobody else wants to be with you - even someone with coprophilia..

I don't want to feel this shit..

Friday, March 26, 2010

KILLtheSADOMASOCHISTICcow


SPOILER: DON'T READ, THIS CONTAIN THOUGHTS THAT MIGHT TRIGGER YOUR ANNOYANCE. STOP! BULLSHIT AHEAD

i don't know what kind of deep shit i'm in..
i just hate.. HATRED.. i just hate to hate..
but still.. i'm hating..
hating myself..
hating the world..
hating the complexity of life..
hating my thoughts which i cannot convey on people..
hating people who cannot comprehend to my thoughts..

I'm searching for my path, the way to light and happiness, my personal legend (as Paulo Coelho used to say).  All I want is to be happy, to live a life worth living and to live a life with purpose. I don't want to live like I'm dying alive. I want my existence to be felt in this world. I want to share joy, hope and love with this world. I just hope I would be understood or at least just regain my sanity - that is if I ever had one. I could be ranting much about life but in reality, I just love to live - it's just life that doesn't love me..